Saturday, April 20, 2013

Gilbert's May Day Protest

Pop-up protestor Gilbert Goh is planning a sequel protest on May Day to redeem himself and show that he is not a xenophobic activist. His main speakers so far are Tan Jee Say, Vincent Wijeysingha, Leong Sze Hian and Nizam Ismail. M Ravi, F8 and Jolovan Wham also said they wanted to speak in Part Two. This is a motley crew of activists and politicians who are again using using this event to rant on their pet topics.  I can imagine what their speeches would be like.

Tan Jee Say: No to 6.9 million! I was a former presidential candidate and was trashed soundly. I was so hard up to be president despite my flop attempt losing out to the other Tans, except that NTUC Tan, that I rented an office at expensive Dhoby Ghaut area to be my shadow Istana, close to the real Istana a few hundred metres away. Even though it made me seem a megalomaniac. Even though it was really expensive that I was almost evicted because I could not afford the District 10 office space when a more humble Aljunied office would do just as nicely. Even though it showed that I could not manage my own finances let alone be the custodian of Singapore's reserves. So remember, No to 6.9 million!

Leong Sze Hian: No to 6.9 million! I am a super financial expert, take a look at my credentials that I must brag about. You know that I have at least 3 Masters, 2 Bachelors and 13 professional certificates right?. It is not that I am insecure and like the PAP I must always remind people about my sakti qualifications. The reason is because I know you people the public only think qualifications is important and I don't want to be like other activists or opposition politicians boh tak chek. You don't believe you ask Jolovan. His PSLE only 212, he himself proudly said so before in ST interview. If I were him I would keep quiet. OK please buy my book at the counter behind you and attend my paid talks next month, No to 6.9 million!

Vincent Wijeysingha: No to 6.9 million! I am openly gay, from SDP, and will take-over that hopeless Dr Chee Soon Juan in SDP who was luckily clever enough to shut up during the last GE. I also almost wanted to run back to England when Dr Chee dared to tell WP that SDP and WP can have a sham alliance for the Punggol BE where WP takes all the shit and we take all the glam. Also, my English is very good but not with a fake ang moh accent like the other Indian in opposition politics, Kenneth the embarrassing son of JBJ. Please vote for me and SDP in 2016. I promise SDP would kick out all the foreigners, including the ones who rented your HDB flat or condo. No to 6.9 million!

Jolovan Wham: No to 6.9 million! I love foreigners and some of you might have heard from rumours, one of the speakers here too. So if I love foreign workers, by being here, that means this event is not anti-foreigner. Recently I helped the SMRT bus drivers who went on strike. The Tiongs, I mean PRC nationals, do not deserve to be treated as second class citizens and should be paid as much as Singaporeans. So SBS and SMRT, please increase their wages and therefore bus and train fares. No to 6.9 million!

Nizam Ismail: No to 6.9 million! You don't know me, but you can Google my name anyway now. No to 6.9 million!

M Ravi: No to 6.9 million! I promise I won't have another mental breakdown now and burst into song and dance like the last time I was at Speakers' Corner, as I took my pills earlier. If I don't take them I might go a little teeny weeny mad like when I shouted in a mosque and a temple on different occasions. I think very few people want me to be their lawyer anymore as I make the case worse for them when I'm their lawyer because of my illness. People, including fellow gays fighting 377A, now rather go to Peter Low! That lawyer is stealing my business! No to 6.9 million!

Teo Soh Lung: No to ISA, ISD, MHA and PAP! Any chance for me to complain about ISD, ISA, MHA and PAP, I take! I support all those detained under ISA by ISD - the communists in the 50-70s, my fellow Marxist Conspiracy comrades from 1987 and all my jihad brothers detained in recent years for terrorism! I only know how to complain about ISD, ISA, MHA and PAP, and spot the PAP spies among you. You, you and you there in the crowd! The one using handphone to take pictures of the crowd. Don't bluff I know it is not for Facebook and you are ISD spy! OK OK Gilbert glaring at me now for digressing, No to 6.9 million!